Police Motorcycle Rodeo

It's embarrassing to admit that there are some here at Mas Macho who can't, um, drive. It's shocking to write that down, really. But as residents of the Big Apple, it just doesn't seem practical, y'know?

But still, despite all this, that doesn't stop us appreciate those humans out there in the big wide world who can drive, such as Grand Prairie TX police officer Donnie Williams.

His vehicle of choice is the motorbike – one of those Police Academy monsters – and as you can see from this video of him riding around the course, he is absolutely dynamite at the whole driving-a-bike-around-a-parking-lot-full-of-traffic-cones thing.

There aren't any jumps, and there aren't any explosions, but somehow this is genuinely entrancing. Just look at him go... we almost want to shout "Fake!" but it really is real. Hell, maybe we should ask him for driving lessons.

Meet the 98-year-old only woman with a 10th Dan Judo black belt

There are only four people in the world that have tenth Dan in Judo. Three of them are men, and live in Japan. One of them is a woman, and lives in the USA. Her name is Keiko Fukuda, and yes, she is a badass.

A 98-year-old badass. That's right, she's 98 years old and she could still kick our asses. Hard.

It's been a long time coming for Fukuda, battling against gender discrimination in the world of Judo for all her life, seeing dozens of male martial artists get higher ranks than her despite her superior skill.

Still teaching in Noe Valley, San Francisco, Judo USA finally announced her promotion to coincide with Fukuda's annual International Kata Championship at San Francisco City College.

"The time was right," said one board member. Fukuda's reaction? "All my life, this has been my dream."

Dang it, now we're welling up. It might be the sheer awesomeness of it all, or it could be the inspirational video footage we have for you below, or some this piece of manly grit that's just got in our eye. We're just not sure really. Sniff.