Breast Slapping Therapy

Want to have bigger breasts? Scared of going under the knife? Sounds like you need to head to Thailand to speak with Khemmikka Na Songkhla about her government-approved, breast-augmenting slapping techniques.

Now we're aware you may need to read that last sentence one more time, so go ahead. Got it? Then we'll begin.

The official stamp of approval came about after one victim/willing participant complained that Khemmikka's practices led to breast cancer, and the Thai Health Ministry conducted a six-month study on her work, offering up scientific proof that her system works -- and didn't cause cancer.

The 44-year-old Bangkok beautician claims that she and she alone knows the secret behind her "therapy", which she claims increases bust sizes by 2 inches by kneading and slapping women's breasts, pushing fat towards them to improve their firmness and volume.

That said, she's willing to pass on her knowledge... for a price. 10 million baht ($330,000) will get you the magic details on the body-sculpting course, 8 million baht ($260,000) reveals the wonders behind the breast slapping course, and 5 million baht ($165,000) will help you help people... by slapping their faces.

But before you get too excited -- the way she works requires women to have a certain breast size already, and not be too skinny. So there you go, now you know. Saved a few people a few expensive plane tickets, we figure ...

Oh, and don't try this at home, by the way. Just in case you were considering a DIY course.

Police Motorcycle Rodeo

It's embarrassing to admit that there are some here at Mas Macho who can't, um, drive. It's shocking to write that down, really. But as residents of the Big Apple, it just doesn't seem practical, y'know?

But still, despite all this, that doesn't stop us appreciate those humans out there in the big wide world who can drive, such as Grand Prairie TX police officer Donnie Williams.

His vehicle of choice is the motorbike – one of those Police Academy monsters – and as you can see from this video of him riding around the course, he is absolutely dynamite at the whole driving-a-bike-around-a-parking-lot-full-of-traffic-cones thing.

There aren't any jumps, and there aren't any explosions, but somehow this is genuinely entrancing. Just look at him go... we almost want to shout "Fake!" but it really is real. Hell, maybe we should ask him for driving lessons.