« Bears Submit to Will of Macho Man »

Lopedog and his long hard stick. Note the scared bear in the background.A measure of one's machismo is the ability to command into submission the will of another. Sometimes you must use physical force and other times a mere glance in the direction of a receptive female will produce the desired response. In either case, wielding a long hard stick can increase the efficacy of your commanding machismo. So much so, you can even control a wild bear.

"I believe that with your long hard stick in your hand you can force your will upon anyone, even a bear," proclaims self-acclaimed bear handler and, of course, critically acclaimed poet, Perod"Lopedog" Lope. "Once a man discovers their macho stick, there is no stopping what they can do if they are macho enough and in control of their stick. Whether a man is confronted by a wild bear or a hairy beaver, all will submit to the trained macho man."

Through quarterly workshops, Lopedog teaches initiate macho men into the arts of stick bolstering, presenting and thrusting. "I can't help a man find their stick, Ricky is much better at that than I am, he is a trained professional with very nice hands," says Lopedog, referring to fellow Mas Macho board member Ricky del Man.

Lopedog's workshops are open to Mas Macho members that have achieve a minimum level 3 machismo and test for 100+ testosterone levels. "Not every man can be trained to handle their stick in a commanding fashion. I handle my stick daily to make sure I am at the top of my game," concludes Lopedog.