« Floyd Landis is Super Manly - Testosterone Levels Prove It!! »

American cyclist Floyd Landis produced one of the most memorable rides in Tour de France history  by producing a come from behind victory that was nothing short of manly and ripe with machismo and testosterone. But now the Tour de France is questioning Floyd's victory because of his testosterone - a  hormone secreted by the testes that promotes the development and maintenance of healthy male sex characteristics - in other words they are questioning his manliness! Leave it to the French to question someones manliness.

Floyd Landis is manly!In winning this year's Tour, Landis had to overcome more than his share of obstacles. First, he was riding with a hip so damaged that it'll be replaced in a couple of weeks. Second, his large testicles due to his extremely manly levels of testosterone were weighing him down. Third, Landis struggled badly through the Alps and wound up more than eight minutes behind the leader midway through the mountain stages. The next day, Floyd blasted the field in another grueling mountain stage and by the end of the race he was the victor.

And that is when the Tour de France doctors deemed preposterous that Floyd's high levels of testosterone could be natural. Hours after his stirring comeback win, Floyd's manliness was cast into doubt by news of a high testosterone test. 

"All I'm asking for is that I be given a chance to prove I'm innocent," Floyd said last Thursday via teleconference from Europe.  Landis concluded by saying he has no idea what is so wrong with a positive test for high testosterone.

In a private interview with Mas Macho, Landis questioned his indictment. "Why are they persecuting me for my testosterone. Are they just unable to cope with my manliness?"

According to Mas Macho medical sources, Floyd's testosterone levels are wonderful to behold. When compared to the normal male average (Figure 1), Floyd's levels are 935% greater.  The French are at about 20.

Figure 1. Testosterone Levels
50		200		350			935
	Normal Range			Paulito Cebolla			Floyd Landis

"The Mas Macho community is sadly disappointed by the brutal attacks on a man of such manliness and testosterone. It is nothing more than jealousy," proclaimed Paulito Cebolla, co-founder of Mas Macho and holder of a testosterone level 3.5 times the normal average. "This is yet another example of the attacks made to men in this feminist centered world. It is an outrage and we will do all that we can to support Floyd."

Mas Macho is urging all manly and macho supporters to contact Christian Prudhomme, the Director of the Tour de France, and Jean Marie Leblanc, the Deputy Director of Something Ghastly, both certified limp-wristed frenchmen, and tell them of your outrage. All it takes is one macho man to make a difference in this world!