« The Hidden Meaning of Your Boner »

Ever since you were a little macho man, you have been getting boners. Most of the time they are obvious ones such as the time a stripper was shaking her junk in front of you or that kiss from your first girlfriend. Those are low hanging fruit, no pun intended. But what does it mean when you get a boner while watching a movie? We refer to the The Alphabet of Manliness for guidance. Read on macho seeker of knowledge.

Getting a boner while…	Makes You
Movies in which the women aren't predominately naked.	GAY
Movies in which the woman aren't predominately naked,  but there are lots of explosions, people getting maimed   and/or killed.	STRAIGHT
Showering at the gym.	GAY
Seeing a naked woman.	STRAIGHT
Seeing a naked woman that doesn't shave.	GAY
Shopping for a gun.	STRAIGHT
Shopping for a gun with your buddy.	STRAIGHT
Shopping for a gun while you hold each other's cocks.	GAY
On your eighteenth birthday.	BARELY LEGAL
During a sleepover.	BI-CURIOUS
While doing math.	ASEXUAL
While doing your math teacher, Ms Juggs.	HEROIC

Please tell us your boner signs and correlators. We are all interested. Truly we are. <snore>